I'm really struggling with telling my 6 yr old daughter to handle the ';stinky kid'; in class, advice?

My daughter who is in the 1st grade has another girl who is by definition the ';stinky girl'; never bathed hair never brushed and her behavior is often times very poor and social skills almost non-existent. On more than one occasion I have seen the teacher bring her in early, to brush her hair. Clearly at this age the problem stems from the parents (they are the same way) so I feel very bad for the girl, who has no friends. I have asked my daughter to try and be extra nice to her and tried explaining why the other girls is the way she is, but getting a 6 yr old to understand has proved troublesome for me. I know that at this age a friend can make a world of difference to a little girl like this, and it nearly breaks my heart whenever I see her being excluded.



The conservative in me says that this is life and someone has to be the stinky kid, but somewhere I cant help but think maybe my daughter could make a world of difference in this girls life. Should I let it go or is there a way I can explain it in a simple easy to understand way that my child can understand how to be the better person?I'm really struggling with telling my 6 yr old daughter to handle the ';stinky kid'; in class, advice?
Have your daughter invite the girl over to play. Maybe if you promise to take them somewhere fun your daughter might be more willing to give it a shot.



Kids act differently when they're away from a group. In class, she's the ';stinky kid'; and that's how everyone treats her. Treating her different would make you the ';weird kid';. But get the kids away from each other and they usually change how they act because there isn't that constant peer pressure.I'm really struggling with telling my 6 yr old daughter to handle the ';stinky kid'; in class, advice?
maybe invite stinky girl over after school for a few hours??? kids can be cruel even at a young age..it is nice that you are trying to get your daughter to be friendly. Most parents just turn the other cheek.
You're a sweetie, Zorro.



The conservative in you should tell you however that you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. It would be better if your daughter chose to befriend this girl rather than feel forced into it. Nobody wants a pity friend...even you with that Tom character on Myspace.



You've explained to your daughter why things are like this. Maybe your words are floating in her head and will sink in and click.



At the very least, she knows not to treat the poor child cruely and will not be part of the problem.



And no, there need not be a stinky kid. It's just that government can't take the place of inept parents.
we as adults know that there has to be a stinky kid but its really sad that that little girl is so neglected, no one has ever thought of calling on her parents so they can be investigated? even if you are poor you can still take a bath AND brush your hair even if you have to finger comb it! so there is no excuse for sending a child to school that way and i would have called someone on them by now. but until then you still have to teach your child to be nice to others no matter how they smell! ask her how she would feel if she had no friends and no one was nice to her. just ask your daughter to speak to the little girl everyday at least, you cant force them to be friends but you can use this to try to instill those values in your child for when she is older.my daughter is always talking of wanting to be popular and hang with the popular girls (she will be 6 next month) and i told her that the popular girls are not always the nice girls and i told her to try to be nice to the kid in her class that got picked on as well and she did and she tries to be friends with everyone instead of the girls who think they are popular (even tho they are only in kindergarten lol)
Wow, that really is a 'sticky' situation!

IF you explain the 'stinky' girl is less fortunate than most and then explain 'less fortunate' it may go over your Daughters head OR she may (kids at 6yo) go back to class and UNintentionally embarrass the girl, telling her and OTHERS how 'less fortunate' the 'stinky girl' is.............

ONE thing you may try is INVITE the girl over to your home, after school for cookies %26amp; play time?

Maybe then you daughter may emulate your actions in time.

That is very sweet you care, most people would just ridicule %26amp; point!
Wow. I was wondering who wrote this question till I got to the second paragraph. :)



I would just tell her that it's not the girl's fault and your daughter should treat the girl how she would like to be treated if she was that poor stinky girl.
I was the new kid at school when I was 8. The 'stinky' kid was nice to me on my first day there. We played all during recess. Afterwards some other girls came up to me. They told me if I played with her then no one would be my friend. I am being serious. This happened at 8. I never talked to that girl again. Turned out, I never made many friends anyway, because after being the new kid, I was also the poor kid. That 'stinky' kid got harrassed every single day in school, all the way up to 12th grade. So, in a way, I know that if I had become friends with her it would have made her life easier, but it would have also made my life harder. Kids are horrible. I feel horrible for not making the effort, though I never joined in her torment. Maybe the thing to do would be for the principle to talk to the parents. I'm pretty sure sending your kid to school every day dirty and a mess is neglect.



I'm just giving you some perspective from a kid who's been in your daughter's shoes in a way.
Invite the child over when your wife is home, and have her scrub that child's hair in the shower. Then brush it and braid it and give her some clean hand me downs. Then feed her something homecooked.



Someone did that for a child I know very well, and it made her feel like someone gave a chit. She knew she stunk but they didn't have any soap or shampoo in the house, and the kids had to wash their own clothes in the grossest tub you ever saw with dishsoap because the parents were too busy smoking crack. And when they ran out of dishsoap they stopped washing clothes.



Then do it again next week. And again. Until someone opens their eyes. Will the parents let you do this? You bet they will. Will they take advantage of this? Probably. There's a greater good Z. Have your eyes wide open when it happens so you don't miss it.