Sunday, November 21, 2010

Is he into me? Sorry this is kinda long.?

I have this guy who is a friend. We are very close. I have known him for over a year now and we have talked at least once everyday. We met during a difficult time in my life. I lost a child, he became my supporter when I had nobody else. My husband went off the deep end and my friend helped with advice on how to save my marriage. I tried everything. I asked the husband for counseling and he refused. It got to the point in my marriage that my husband had became abusive. I left my husband in October. Before I left my husband it was all friendship bw me and the friend. He has been divorced and had kids just like me. We are alike in so many ways we just click. I am 100% sure I have fallen in love with him. He is very sweet to me and makes me really happy. In the past I never noticed it before but if he was going out with a girl i'd get upset. I never noticed it until recently, only when we talked about it. He hasn't been seeing anyone I am positive of that. We have talked about dating and he says he likes me and only time will tell. At times I can see that he really cares for me and my kids. As I do him and his kids. He is so confusing though. He says things like you are so wonderful and exactly what I need in my life. Then he says you are not ready to love again. I can't explain how I feel about him. I just know that being around him makes me feel so whole. He literally takes my breath away. Im not sure he feels the same about me. he says he is cold hearted and has built a wall to keep others out. At times he beats around the bush and says he loves me and at others he says things like how he wishes he was in love with me. If I don't txt him or call he txts me or calls me. We have slept together only recently. Hes been around a year why would he spend a year being so close to me if all he wanted was sex? Does he truly care for me and is just afraid to show it? His ex had cheated on him and in return he did the same. He has said that he doesn't feel like he could be the husband I need. This is a man I have seen break down and cry. I have seen him at some of his worse days and some of his best. Am I wrong for wanting to have a realationship with him? For honestly feeling like I love him?Is he into me? Sorry this is kinda long.?
this dude loves 1 night stands and yur just handin um to him on a silver platterIs he into me? Sorry this is kinda long.?
he is into you



answer my question?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?鈥?/a>
No man invests a year of his life and the sharing of heartbreak to wrangle some easy sex. It sounds like he has chosen to harden his heart to love. He is not willing to risk the kind of heartbreak he has dealt with in the past. He is protecting himself. I think that he needs counseling. Is he Christian? He could talk with his pastor. I'm sorry, Christian is not the point, but if he attends spiritual meetings of any religion, he could talk with someone there who could help him. He needs to learn to trust, again. Until he does, he will not feel safe in any relationship. Stop the sex, keep on loving and caring for him. But you need to protect yourself, too.
From what you have just said, it sounds like he really does care for you but he has a very difficult time when it comes to trust. If all he wanted was sex, no he would not have stayed around for a year, I think there is more to it than that. Having an ex cheat on you can leave a scare very deep and for quite a long time. As a general rule of thumb, men take considerably longer to recover from emotional issues. Mostly because we tend not to face our emotion right away. Society has taught us to ';suck it up and be a man';. Thing's are changing in that respect, but very slowly. When he say you are not ready for love, it seems to me that he is saying that he might not be ready. The only panacea I can see for this right now is time. You have to allow for the trust to continue to develop. That fact that you were true to your ex-husband even while you were Friend with him and you did not cheat on your ex during that times says quite a good bit about your personality. That will definitely be in your favor.



If you feel that strongly for him, the best thing you can do is to be his friend. Don't be afraid to let him know how you feel, and tell him that if you thought you were ready for love again, that you hope it might be with him. From what you say, it sounds like your ready, he just might not be. The most important thing is to let him know you are there for him. The pain of betrayal (his ex) takes a long time to go away. He still needs to deal with that issue. When he says he does not feel like he could be the husband that you need, he might very well be telling you the truth about how he feels right now. Don't rush him, take your time. By the way, you already have a relationship with him, he just does not know it yet.



Best of luck to you, and be patient and take your time. especially for yours and his kids sake.

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