I feel like dying. My boyfriend broke up with me ove my future. How do I stop the pain him? I love him so much?

I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half, hes 18 and Im 17 (nearly 18). We lost our virginity to eachother and everything and he is the first boy I have ever loved. I would lay down and die for him, I love him so much. I don't care if you think I am too young to be in love, my mum was my age when she met my dad and they are still together and shes now 42.



To cut a long story short on sunday I went to his house. He kept cuddling me and kissing me and smelling me and generally acting strange. I asked why and he said he would tell me later, and that he had my late valentines card to give to me, but I would probably want to rip it up later. I thought he was acting really weird but he was being so loving. We slept together and everything, and he kept cuddling me and smelling my hair, saying how I was the perfect girl for him and not to ever forget that.



Eventually I managed to persuade him to tell me what he wanted to say but he hid under the duvet and couldn't say it. If you saw him, hes 6'1, athletic and into the whole hip-hop thing, so its not like hes soft or anything but he has adhd and wa stuttering and couldn't say what he wanted. Eventually he said ';I think..we should break up.';



It didn't sink in at first, and the first thing I could say was ';why?';. My boyfriend, or ex as he is now, is quite poor and he lives in a shared house, and only has one bedroom which he shares with his 16 year old brother. He had a difficult upbringing and relies on his dad for money. His reason for breaking up with me was that he needed to get his life back on track. He said that he loves me so much and wants me in his future, but the other day he ran out of food and his brother was hungry so he gave him everything in the cupboard, yet his brother was still starving, and it made him think that he can't do this any longer. He said that he needs to start training for football again, as he wants to make it as a professional, he needs to find a job, he needs to start running 20 miles a day and he wants to rent a house to near where I live so we can be together.



I understand his reasons but I don't understand why he cannot have a girlfriend at this time. The thought of him seeing anyone else makes me sick. We were both crying our eyes out and he was holding on to me and wouldn't let go.



I've bombarded him with calls and texts, which I know I shouldn't have as he says he needs space. I saw him two days ago to give back his clothes that I had (he told me to keep them I just wanted an excuse for seeing him), and he ended up kissing me, and even though I told him to stop as it wasn't fair he said he couldn't help it, and we kissed and one thing led to another and eventually we slept together. It felt like we hadn't even broken up. He dedicated the song ';So Nice'; by DK Ironik to me, and it started playing on his xbox as his playlist was on shuffle and we both started crying again.



He told me that he loves me and doesn't want any other girl. He said I'm beautiful and that I'm perfect for him and hes going to miss me so much but its just a temporary thing until he sorts out his life for him and his brother. He said he wanted to marry me and build our own house together with two dogs.



Since I have been home I havn't been to college. I just feel like dying. Every morning I wake up crying knowing that hes not mine any more. Last night I tried calling him like 20 times, he sent me a text saying ';a bit busy atm, text me later x';, but even though I have texted and texted he hasn't replied. He has free texts so thats not an excuse. He's been on facebook on his phone so I'm pretty sure that hes blanking me. I feel so hurt right now, I love him so much, and I just want to talk to him. I know I shouldn't have slept with him but at the time it felt so right. Please help me, what do I do?



I can't live without him.I feel like dying. My boyfriend broke up with me ove my future. How do I stop the pain him? I love him so much?
Let it go and keep ya chin up high.. Put makeup on and go out and mingle. Peace.I feel like dying. My boyfriend broke up with me ove my future. How do I stop the pain him? I love him so much?
Should have kept your legz clozed until marriage.
every one thinks theyre first love is the only love. every one feels that way especially if you lost your virginity to that person. trust me you will not even think of him in the future. cry, listen to sad music, whatever it takes to get over it. if hes ignoring you hes not interested, so move on with your life for now.
aww i know how hard first love is i was 18 when my first love split with me. It sounds as though he's using an excuse to be able to go out and do as he pleases. He's got you on tap - sex when he wants because youre that wrapped up about him but he can still go out with friends and other girls etc. You need to wise up, he could still be with you if he wanted to do all those things he said. The two of you would just see less of one another, theres no need for him to fully split with you. Unless of course hes a genuinely decent guy who doesnt want you being left in the background and neglected for ages. Maybe hes scared you'd stop loving him. More likely i think hes an 18 yo guy who wants to sleep about and go back to you later.
He just needs space to get his life back on track

dont make this harder for him than it already is

if you keep this up calling and being all miserable nothing good will come of it

your acting immature and like a baby

tell him you understand that you two are no longer together and that he should do what he feels he needs to do. wish him luck with getting back on track

then leave and do not contact him anymore just dont

it will be extremely hard but control yourself

dont skip college

and jeopardize your education that not smart

take the time you are apart to work on yourself more

develop a new hobby.. change a bad habit
You really need to do something VERY important right now. Please STOP TEXTING HIM OR TRYING TO GET HIS ATTENTION!!!! That never, ever works! All you're doing right now is justifying in his mind a reason to not be with you any more. Give him the space he needs, go out and have a life. I know it hurts a lot, we've all been there. But if you show him all the positive things about you and show him what a great life you have, then he'll probably start to miss you. Seriously, please don't bother him any more. It's SO important!!!! It's the only way you might actually get him back, but you must prepare yourself for the high chance that it really is over for good. Be strong.
He is not going to love you just because you love him so much. It looks like he is wanting to get away from you but is a little confused. Whatever it is, just let him go. If he really wants you, he will come back.



The more you try to force him to love you, the further away he will go. Just leave him alone for now and let him sort out his issues, whatever they may be. He has to take the step to come back to you as he is one who broke it off.



Don't message or call him for a week. From the looks of things, he might come back but you will have to let it happen that way and not chase him down. It will only make you lose what you want.
listen its really hard breaking up with your ';first'; some people deal with it differently. i have depression and it was really difficult for me. yeah its gonna hurt for a while just like all those cheesy songs say but its the god honest truth. this is a major event in your life and its something every young adult goes through. the pain from the separation your going through isnt from love its from hormones and having to leave your ';comfort zone'; as i like to call it. kinda like when you go to the gym for the first time and ur outta shape. see when were young were very vulnerable were unsure about alot of things and we tend to look for stability in anything we can find. being in relationships makes us feel grownup and like we have a grip on the world or like we have someone there to help us if anything happens. im not gonna ramble im just gonna say this in the best way i can. the best thing you can do is to even yourself out get rid of all his stuff go out with friends and mingle and try to stay active get into some sports go to the mall and stuff and parties if your parents will let you (: your not wrong for having sex with him your young and it happens doesn mean ur a bad person or anything i did the same thing when i was 15. just try to keep your chin up and realize that its just a growing pain.