Friday, November 19, 2010

I have a fairly large crush on a girl in my class?

It started at the beginning of the year, I noticed in the corner of my eye she kept looking at me and turns away when I look directly at her, and she seems to be shy around me. So I've assumed perhaps she has a crush on me (I'm a major fool if i'm wrong). I've been doing the same too, because I find her very attractive and I've strangely been dreaming about her nearly everynight (in a non-perverse, non-sexual and non-scary way of course) which is strange because I never dream about anyone. We've never actually had a conversation yet, and that makes me feel stupid, I can easily talk to girls and have had many girlfriends but for some reason I can't get a word out when it comes to her. She's also top of the class, and obviously therefore smart which I find attractive but also intimidating, because I don't want to look like an idiot to her. Recently she'd been wearing make up around her eyes (theoretically make up wearing usually means they are trying to look attractive for someone), but in the last week she stopped wearing any make up and her looking-at-me-ness decreased so I'm worried she's tired of the non-conversation happening between us, so i've decided I must act. I need advice on if I should maybe write her a letter (which is kind of cowardly) or a poem (which could be incredibly stupid if she doesn't like poetry) or strike up a non-random, non-scary conversation with her. How should I write the letter? or what should I converse to her about? Also I have a class speech/presentation in a few days on any type of organism, I thought maybe I should do an animal or thing that could reflect myself with the hope I could interest her or something like that. All advice of any sensible sort would be most appreciated.I have a fairly large crush on a girl in my class?
do a non-random non scarry thing !

and i dont think the make up wearing means shes tired of it

go for it dude DO EETTI have a fairly large crush on a girl in my class?
Poetry and lovel etters are all well and good but you are bound to scare off someone ratehr than attract them. The easiest option is to go up and strike up a conversation. Say hello, ask a question about her or something to do with work and just get to know her. It's really that simple and after you have conquered the nerves of talkig to her and see whether there is an attraction or not then you should be well on your way to having something fun and special with this girl.
First of all, don't worry about the make-up. Yes, there are times that women dress up to impress men, but most of the time, they dress up/wear makeup to impress other women or please themselves. This girl probably woke up one day and thought, ';I feel like I'm good enough at applying makeup now that I can wear it in public and not look like a clown';. Then she woke up a week later and couldn't be bothered.



Second, it is totally normal to dream about people, and it is normal to fantasize about them sexually. So don't feel guilty or weird about that.



Also, it has been scientifically proven that men can get spacey around women they find attractive. So you're not unusual there. I would not start off by writing her a letter or poem--that could very easily come across as weird or too intense. You need to start off by talking to her. Even if you feel awkward around her, the reality is that you have to talk to her if you want her to know you exist and if you want her to know you're interested.



You have to take risks sometimes when you want to approach someone you're attracted to. Yes, you might feel awkward, yes, there's a chance she'll think you're awkward or is not attracted to you. But if you don't talk to her, your chance with her is zero. What you need to keep in mind is that it is completely normal to be attracted to people. Normal, mature people talk to people they are attracted to. And normal, decent girls don't make fun of guys who approach them politely for a date or conversation. So if you ever feel that a girl is thinking that you're an idiot because you have tried to talk to her or express an interest, the problem is with her, not with you.



The bottom line is that you need to be more confident. Confidence means that you approach this girl and say something like, ';I think we've been in the same class for a while, but we've never talked. I think you know my friend....';. If she acts like she thinks you're an idiot, don't worry. You tried. You'll get over it. But maybe she'll talk back. Chat a few more times about boring stuff, then invite her to eat with you at lunch. Then invite her to the movies or something.



Don't worry about looking stupid around her. It doesn't matter that she gets better grades than you. People have different skills. You sound like a normal, articulate guy and I'm sure you have your own strengths. Good luck!

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