How long do you stay mad?

I have a dilemma for you today.



Me and my now husband (of one month) recently got married. We dated almost 7 years though. A few years into our relationship I slept with another guy. A guy I knew from my days in the military. He was a few hours away and drove to our city to see me. He got a hotel room and said all he wanted to do was talk and catch up. One thing led to another and we ended up in bed. I kept the secret from my boyfriend (at the time) for almost a year until he found out about it. He was angry with me but he finally forgave me. Fast forward several years. I found out my boyfriend almost cheated on me with a girl we both knew. It didn't happen because I found out and put an end to it. Now I can't seem to get over the fact that my man, now husband, was almost unfaithful to me. Every time we have an argument about something I tend to always bring up the fact that he almost cheated on me. Problem is this. This girl he almost cheated with has mutual friends that we both know and every now and again she'll post something on their Facebook wall. Nothing to me or my man but it'll be something innocent like a birthday greeting or she'll comment on one of their photos. That pisses me off too and I always get mad at my man. How long should I expect to still get mad over the fact that my now husband almost cheated on me?How long do you stay mad?
Stay mad as long as you like. I have been mad at my husband for 12 years and I don't have sex with him.How long do you stay mad?
You will stay mad until you forgive him, which is something you can choose to do at any time. I highly recommend you forgive him today. Look him in the eye, tell him what he did and how it made you feel, and then say, with sincerity in your voice, that you forgive him for it, and promise not to bring it up again in the future.



You have the power to get over this. All you must do is exercise your power.
you should stay mad as long as the come from the guy you cheated with is still flowing in your puzzy.
OK, you're mad at him even though he didn't cheat (yes, only cos you found out), but you actually slept with some other guy while you were with him????

Talk about double standards.



OK, to answer your question, you have no right to stay mad at him. He's been busted and so have you. Deal with it and move on or get out now before there are kids involved.
You should get over it! you shouldn't punish your husband as he didn't cheat on you at the end of the day, you did! The past is the past you should move forward. Be happy with your marriage as you are together now. Hope that helps!
you have to give full love to your husband and you'll be at peace in midst of this test in your married life. for love overcomes all obstacles.
you are a gdam trainwreck. living with you would be a fkn nightmare. how long you gonna stay pissd if he almost spills the milk?
You need to CHOOSE to forgive him. It doesn't just happen, it's a process and it's not easy. If you're the type, counselling could help you through this. Just don't stay mad, it will not solve anything.
You really should not be mad any more. You both made mistakes and you have to move on and get closure because this will tear your marriage apart if you don't. You actually cheated and slept with another guy right? He almost cheated but did not actually cheat right? You both made poor choices and you have to resolve your trust issues if you want your marriage to work. Stop bringing up the past as well all it will do is cause problems. You really have to forgive each other for your mistakes and work on regaining your trust for one another. You both made a mistake now work on fixing it and loving each other. If you can't let go of this you will never be happy again and it will destroy your marriage. As for this girl and her messages just ignore her, it's not worth it. Don't look at her comments on facebook. Best of luck :)
You're not looking at this situation linearly. You are looking at it from what's transpired from the point you got married, but this was a vulnerability that was seeded the instant you slept with that other guy years ago. Am I trying to punish you with this statement? No. I just want you to realize there is a karmic energy that was set into motion by one act, and it has and undercurrent that is felt in successive acts. Your husband didn't refrain from cheating because you found out about it and put a stop to it....(free will is bigger than you, and if he was of a serious mind to cheat, he would have found a way to do so). He refrained from cheating because he didn't want to. Yes, he's married now, but he's still the same guy who internalized the pain of your straying, and you're still the same person who internalized the guilt of having done so years ago. This means, a certain amount of trepidation on your part is normal because you unconsciously feel you would deserve reciprocity. That's not true, but the karmic wheel will make you feel as if it is.

The good news is this: You can stop being angry about this right now; it never happened. Be communicative and forgiving to each other, and you will weather far more significant storms together and remain intact. Be petty, and rest assured something out there will trip you up. Good luck.
Basically, you still feel hurt over what could have happened, its perfectly normal. But in a way, now you also know how he felt when you actually cheated on him with another person. He was willing to forgive you, maybe you should forgive him too because all this is doing is making you doubt your relationship and its going to put a strain in it to the point that you could end up hating each other.