My boyfriend broke up with me. I feel like my heart has been ripped and torn to shreds. What do I do?

I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half, hes 18 and Im 17 (nearly 18). We lost our virginity to eachother and everything and he is the first boy I have ever loved. I would lay down and die for him, I love him so much. I don't care if you think I am too young to be in love, my mum was my age when she met my dad and they are still together and shes now 42.



To cut a long story short on sunday I went to his house. He kept cuddling me and kissing me and smelling me and generally acting strange. I asked why and he said he would tell me later, and that he had my late valentines card to give to me, but I would probably want to rip it up later. I thought he was acting really weird but he was being so loving. We slept together and everything, and he kept cuddling me and smelling my hair, saying how I was the perfect girl for him and not to ever forget that.



Eventually I managed to persuade him to tell me what he wanted to say but he hid under the duvet and couldn't say it. If you saw him, hes 6'1, athletic and into the whole hip-hop thing, so its not like hes soft or anything but he has adhd and wa stuttering and couldn't say what he wanted. Eventually he said ';I think..we should break up.';



It didn't sink in at first, and the first thing I could say was ';why?';. My boyfriend, or ex as he is now, is quite poor and he lives in a shared house, and only has one bedroom which he shares with his 16 year old brother. He had a difficult upbringing and relies on his dad for money. His reason for breaking up with me was that he needed to get his life back on track. He said that he loves me so much and wants me in his future, but the other day he ran out of food and his brother was hungry so he gave him everything in the cupboard, yet his brother was still starving, and it made him think that he can't do this any longer. He said that he needs to start training for football again, as he wants to make it as a professional, he needs to find a job, he needs to start running 20 miles a day and he wants to rent a house to near where I live so we can be together.



I understand his reasons but I don't understand why he cannot have a girlfriend at this time. The thought of him seeing anyone else makes me sick. We were both crying our eyes out and he was holding on to me and wouldn't let go.



I've bombarded him with calls and texts, which I know I shouldn't have as he says he needs space. I saw him two days ago to give back his clothes that I had (he told me to keep them I just wanted an excuse for seeing him), and he ended up kissing me, and even though I told him to stop as it wasn't fair he said he couldn't help it, and we kissed and one thing led to another and eventually we slept together. It felt like we hadn't even broken up. He dedicated the song ';So Nice'; by DK Ironik to me, and it started playing on his xbox as his playlist was on shuffle and we both started crying again.



He told me that he loves me and doesn't want any other girl. He said I'm beautiful and that I'm perfect for him and hes going to miss me so much but its just a temporary thing until he sorts out his life for him and his brother. He said he wanted to marry me and build our own house together with two dogs.



Since I have been home I havn't been to college. I just feel like dying. Every morning I wake up crying knowing that hes not mine any more. Last night I tried calling him like 20 times, he sent me a text saying ';a bit busy atm, text me later x';, but even though I have texted and texted he hasn't replied. He has free texts so thats not an excuse. He's been on facebook on his phone so I'm pretty sure that hes blanking me. I feel so hurt right now, I love him so much, and I just want to talk to him. I know I shouldn't have slept with him but at the time it felt so right. Please help me, what do I do?



I can't live without him.My boyfriend broke up with me. I feel like my heart has been ripped and torn to shreds. What do I do?
I can't live without him.



For gods sake stop being such a door mat, get over it



Pathetic reallyMy boyfriend broke up with me. I feel like my heart has been ripped and torn to shreds. What do I do?
WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTT??????? YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT HIM? ARE YOU NUTS? GO FIND ANOTHER BOYFRIEND WORTHY OF YOU LOVE. FORGET THAT SOB. THERE ARE LOTS OF GUYS AROUND THAT MAY BE YOU MR RIGHT.
It is normal to feel like this, you are still very young and he is your first love. Sounds like your boyfriend is not ready to make a commitment yet. It will get easier and will make you stronger. Weep, moan to your friends, get drunk, for a while - then get on with something else. Doubtless someone will come along eventually who really appreciates you.
Reading that was heartbreaking. I know how it feels to loose someone you love so much, especially when you both still have strong feelings for each other but other circumstances cause it so you can't be that way anymore.

If he is ';blanking'; you, as you call it, then there is only one thing you can do. Let go. I know that sounds more painful than anything, trust me, I've been through it. I remember wanting to die. But here are somethings that helped me:

1. I would make myself get busy with other things. Not things on the internet where I could look him up on facebook or what not, but things outside the house. School. Homework. Friends. The best thing though that worked for me was service. It might sound a litte crazy, but go to an old folks home and volunteer, talk to those old people. Or what I did, I volunteered to help teach special needs kids. This was the biggest miracle in my life. As I was out helping other people, I felt good about myself and forgot about the problem. The pain was still there but it wasn't as heavy as I was helping others.

2. Work out. I love a good work out. You might already do this but if you do, keep it up. When you work out your body releases endorphins, which lower depresson and make you feel stronger and more in control of your life.

3. I don't know if you are the religious type...but probably what helped me most was praying. I prayed to God so much during that time, begging him to help me. He heard me and made me stronger. It never hurts to try.



Now I am about to get married in a month and I'm happier than ever. I know there is a happy ending (or beginning more like) for you too girl. Good luck. Email me if you want to talk more.
Maybe it's because right now he has no time seeing he's going to get a job going to school probably and running all those miles. Also working on his football. Why would you say yes to having sex with him when you are taking a break? That is not the right thing for you to do when you are hurting over someone. You have to give him space right now that's the worst thing you can do with a man when you are going through with this. Texting him 20 times a day will not help the situation at all. Give him sometime and if it was meant to be it will be. You cannot talk to him right now hang out with your friends and do things that will make you happy. This may hurt you but stop talking with him for a week. Life goes on and I learned that to. My boyfriend broke up with me I was feeling the same way. I had to take a tranquilizer because of it the night he broke up with me. I learned that love is there and one day you will find it to. (give 10 points if you think it's the best)
He is not making any sense and is hurting you. If he will not stop hurting you, do eveything you can to find someone else to talk with so the hurt does not last.
I know how you feel cause i been there and its not easy to forget that person. The only thing you can do its just forget abt him and that's not gonna b easy but u have to realize that there's more guys out there that will actually are mature enough and will make you feel happy. You're young and I don't think you're ready to be with him... you need to meet more people and have fun while you're still young. Hes not the only guy.... just think abt it....And of course! you CAN LIVE WITHOUT HIM!!



Good Luck... Keep your head up!!